Fast Food Killing Women's Libido

Changing Food Habits Dampen Desire, say Italian Medics


Never mind slow food; women need more slow sexy food. That's the word from the Italian Society of Gynaecology and Obstetrics (SIGO), who have launched a new book on women's health titled "Food and Sex." The book is a collection of 30 recipes designed to inspire desire and to combat the rising number of Italian women who doctors say are suffering from sexual performance anxiety.

Fast Food Killing Libido

The Mediterranean diet is often hailed as one of the healthiest in the world, with its high proportion of fresh fruit and vegetables and low saturated fats, and it remains the basis of Italian cuisine. Yet lifestyle changes have also brought about significant dietary changes to Mediterranean women.

"The increased pace of life means women who are working in the cities don't have time to prepare fresh food and they are eating more fast food. Many cultural aspects of food are being lost, with consequences for their sexual health and libido," said SIGO President Dr. Giorgio Vittori.

Female Sexual Performance Anxiety

Eleven percent of Italian women reported anxiety about their sexual performance in a recent SIGO study, and a surprising 73% did not acknowledge a link between diet and libido.

To get the message out, and in a twist of marketing genius, doctors are recommending a return to erotic foods.

Top Erotic Foods

Alongside erotic legends like caviar (with zinc for sperm production), chili (for vascular dilation), chocolate and cocoa (with stimulants and anti-depressives pheniletilamine and theobromine), surprise entries in the recommended erotic foods index include asparagus, almonds, honey (recommended by the ancient Ayurvedica culture to newlyweds, hence the word "honey-moon"), avocado, saffron (stimulates erogenous zones) and cloves (one of the most powerful natural aphrodisiacs).

The banana also gets a mention thanks not only to its phallic shape but to its peel, which contains traces of an alkaloid called bufotenin, a powerful toxin usually found in toads that, according to some experts, can act as a relaxant in tiny doses.

Perfect Meal for Passion

"Pre-cooked or pre-packaged food and eating too quickly causes intense cerebral excitement," said Professor Alessandra Graziottin, director of the Centre of Gynaecology at the San Raffaele Resnati Institute of Milan, "but it is paradoxically damaging to libido. In fact, it increases irritability. We need to pay attention not only to what we eat but how."

And the perfect meal for a night of passion according to the "Food and Sex" authors? Crab and avocado "eat me" mousse, "butterflies in my stomach" pasta or "lovers' risotto," "intriguing escalopes" with shavings of truffle and chocolate "kisses" for dessert. Easy on the vino, however, and skip the post-coital cigarette. And whatever you do, go slowly

Mens' and Womens' Sexual Arousal Rates

Do Men & Women Get Excited at the Same Rate?


McGill University's study of sexual arousal rates in men & women revealed that both sexes are turned on to maximal arousal at more or less the same rate. Hard to believe?

This research shows that mens' and women' sexual arousal rates may be more similar than people thought.

Sexual Arousal Rates in Men and Women

The psychology of sexual arousal rates was fascinating long before Alfred Kinsey researched it. Kinsey was the first to make men and women's sexual arousal rates public and acceptable (though how acceptable his research was is debatable!). New research about sexual arousal rates reveal that men and women get excited at the same rate, which seems hard to believe. Don't men think of sex hundreds of times a day, thus increasing their sexual arousal rates?

What McGill's Research Shows About Sexual Arousal Rates

McGill University researchers found that men and women have sexual arousal rates that are more or less equal. However it's important to remember that any time humans or animals are involved in laboratory studies, their responses aren’t quite the same as in “real life.” Researchers do their best to simulate real life situations when they're studying sexual arousal rates in men and women – and they can come really close – but it’s not quite the same. Would these research results about sexual arousal rates be the same if study participants were in their own homes, with their own lovers?

Place Affects Mens' and Womens' Sexual Arousal Rates

The subjects watched a movie with video goggles and other measurements of their sexual response rates. This is much different than having sex at home (or on the train, plane, desk, photocopier, etc). How applicable are the lab findings to "real" sexual arousal situations and sexual arousal rates? It's difficult to say.

Real Life Versus Movies Affects Arousal Rates

With a real-life lover, most men and women (especially women) are affected by their surroundings, who is nearby making noise, how fat they feel, whether they have gas, if birth control is available, how hairy their legs are, how intimate their relationship is, what a colleague said as they were leaving the office, if they're fighting with their sister, and so on… In light of this, do the study’s results about sexual arousal rates in women and men transfer to real-life sexual situations? It may be easier for women to become aroused by watching a movie in a quiet, unpressured research situation than at home with all sorts of real-life distractions.

Study Participants Affect Sexual Arousal Rates

The participants in this study were “healthy subjects”. What does this mean? Were they 21 year old sexually active university students who may experience maximal sexual arousal in minutes? Were they married, gay, straight, parents of small children, overworked lawyers or pastors? In other words, how representative were they of the middle-aged adult population? Whether they're involved in healthy or unstable relationships is another factor that affects sexual arousal rates in men and women.

Definitions of Mens' and Womens' Sexual Arousal Rates

What exactly is “maximal sexual arousal”? In the study, men reached maximal arousal in 664.6 seconds; women in 743 seconds. I’m not sure if this means the same thing in both genders, or if they can even be compared. For men, it probably means full erection. For women, does it mean ready for instant penetration? Maybe. But even when a woman feels aroused, she may not quite be ready for penetration. This may affect the definition of sexual arousal rates in women.

Applying Mens's and Womens' Sexual Arousal Rates to Real Life

Finally, what real-life differences do these sexual arousal results make in the bedroom - or in a healthy relationship? If I don’t get aroused at the same rate as my husband, it doesn’t matter what this or any study reveals about sexual arousal rates in women and men. That said, it is interesting for research purposes. As Dr. Binik states, the results will help treat sexual arousal disorders in women, which is excellent because we could all use a good orgasm now and then!

Feeling connected and intimate with your partner - and not nervous when you're naked - may be more important than sexual arousal rates.

You’re not abnormal or weird - nor is your partner - if your sexual arousal rates aren't the same as the research findings. So, don’t set the timer and expect to be going at full boar after 743 seconds…unless of course you’re watching a sexually arousing movie with special video goggles in a darkened research lab.

Sexual Heath Relationship

These natural tips for healthy physical intimacy will bring you closer to your partner. Your libido will also improve - whether you're male or female - which can help you build a healthy marriage!


"Men should have sex four times a week for optimum health," said Dr Mehmet Oz on the Oprah Winfrey show.

The benefits of physical and emotional intimacy for both men and women include stronger bones and muscles, less stress and depression, better memory and a stronger immune system. Four times a week may be a lot of physical intimacy to ask for even the most loving couple – unless you have a little help.

10 Natural Tips for Healthy Physical Intimacy

Accept your sensuality. Millions of people – both men and women – aren’t comfortable with their libidos, says Dr Marian Dunn of the Center for Human Sexuality. When you’re comfortable with physical intimacy, you can freely admit and explore your full range of desires.

Compromise with your partner. If you crave physical intimacy every night and your partner wants it once a month, you’ll need to meet in the middle. Being happy in your relationship involves openly discussing when and how often physical intimacy happens. This natural tip for a healthy love life requires honest discussion about different views on your libido and physical and emotional intimacy.

Move your body. The more oxygen, fresh air, and movement you give your body during the day (walking, biking, swimming, chasing after your children), the more sensual you’ll feel overall. Physical and emotional intimacy is connected to how active you are during the day. Exercising doesn’t deplete energy, it increases it!

Unwind before you hit the sheets. There’s nothing less sexy than worrying about bills, work, investments, or politics when you’re striving for a healthy sex life. This natural tip for a healthy love life involves de-stressing before you go to bed. Have a bubble bath, snuggle with your partner, or go for a long walk. The less tense you are, the more you’ll enjoy emotional and physical intimacy.

Use protection. If you’re with a new partner, make sure you’re protected against HIV or other diseases. Insist on good protection – or a healthy love life won’t be yours.

Practice being naked. This natural tip involves your self-esteem and self-confidence. If you feel awkward and embarrassed when you’re naked, you won’t enjoy your partner in bed. Repeat to yourself: “I don’t have to look perfect to enjoy love!” Go to a nude beach or change in the dressing room at the pool, and get used to being around people when you’re nude. This will increase the physical and emotional intimacy in your relationship.

Enjoy a healthy diet. Get away from the fast food, soda pop, and processed sugar! Did you see what happened to Morgan in Supersize Me?! Healthy fruits, veggies, grains, beans, and the occasional hunk of meat will make you feel better and more energetic. This natural tip for healthy physical intimacy can help you lose weight, too.

Examine your prescriptions. If you have absolutely no appetite for intimacy, look into the medications you’re taking. Some, such as birth control pills or antidepressants, can inhibit your libido. Talk to your doctor about how your prescriptions are affecting your love life. You may not be able to quit taking your prescription, but your doctor may offer additional tips for healthy intimacy that speak to your specific condition.

Try new things. To fully enjoy physical and emotional intimacy with your partner, stay away from the routine! New toys, lingerie, places, or even foods can help spice up your love life and increase your desire. Physical intimacy at any age can be enhanced with a little variety.

Laugh about it. Sue Johanson of the Sunday Night Sex Show gave George Stroumboulopoulos this advice: Laugh about your sexual escapades with your partner. This natural tip for healthy libidos help reduce the embarrassment or awkwardness you may feel – and laughing with your partner increases feelings of connection.

healthy Relationships

It's been said that no man (or woman, for that matter) is an island. And it's true: good relationships are essential to our happiness and emotional health. Our relationships can affect our physical health as well.


Indeed, one thing researchers know for sure is that our ability to feel love and intimacy is what keeps us well. Study after study has shown that loneliness is a risk factor for disease, and that relationships have a positive effect on everything from heart health to age-related health issues.



Nurture Your Relationships

It's not always easy to keep friendships and family connections strong when you're busy with work, children, and other demands on your time. Here are some tips for keeping those relationships healthy even in tough times:

Visit with friends and family. Simple, but important. Take time to make a phone call, send an email, or write a quick note.

Make new friends. Establishing new contacts with people who have similar lifestyles can help you feel that someone understands your daily challenges.

If you feel too exhausted to talk to or relate with the people important to you, tell them. Explain your feelings to them. This communication can help you both feel better.



5 Ways to Get Closer to Your Mate

For many of us, a spouse, partner or significant other is the most important relationship in our lives. Yet it's easy to grow apart, even when you live together. Here are five tips from the experts for staying close:



1. Listen, With the TV Off.

The experts agree on this point -- listening, truly listening, can reduce conflict, boost trust, and lead to a more satisfying partnership. Listening may sound simple, but it requires more than being in the same room while your better half is speaking. Signal that you care by turning off the television, offering your undivided attention, and making eye contact. And don't forget to follow up on what you hear.

This is particularly important when your partner is upset. If you listen carefully, you are more likely to understand the problem and find a way to help.



2. Focus on the Positives.

"When you first meet someone, you pay attention to all the things you like," says Kate Wachs, PhD, a Chicago psychologist and author of Relationships for Dummies. "As time goes on, you start to take that for granted and instead you focus on what bothers you. If the relationship becomes more negative than positive, you break up."

The solution is to make a conscious effort to focus on the things you like about your partner. "Your partner has many good qualities, as well as things that drive you crazy," Brody says. "Look for [the positives] and drink those in. Jot them down to remember them."

3. Stop Nagging.

Nagging not only creates tension, it usually gets you nowhere. "If you're nagging, your partner will tune you out," Wachs tells WebMD. "If someone isn't giving you what you want, think about what you are doing. It's not working. What can you do instead? Have a dialogue. ... Instead of saying what you don't like, say what you would prefer. Give alternatives."

And remember to balance any criticisms with a heavy dose of positive feedback. When making a request that could be seen as nagging, take the edge off by expressing appreciation for your partner's good qualities.



4. Spend More Time Together.

Putting "couple time" on your calendar reinforces your sense of dedication to each other. "Couples benefit when they feel commitment," Peter A. Wish, PhD, clinical psychologist and author of Don't Stop at Green Lights: Every Woman's Guide to Taking Charge of Her Life and Fulfilling Her Dreams, tells WebMD. "Make these private times special by not including others."

But don't make the mistake of limiting your interaction to designated couple time. Try to enjoy each other's company for at least a few minutes every day, especially first thing in the morning, at the end of the workday, and right before bed. "At those times talk about positive things," Wachs says. "It makes a big impression."

Make a special point of greeting each other at the end of the workday. If you're home first, stop what you're doing when your partner arrives and spend a moment together. "Act like [he or she] is important," Wachs advises, "not just the postman stopping by with the mail."



5. Touch More Often.

Physical communication is as important as emotional communication in a relationship. It relieves tension and shows your partner that you care. "Physically being in contact with your partner breaks through a lot of ice," Wachs says. "Go out of your way to kiss and hug during the day. Always sleep together in the same bed. Just assume you're going to have sex every night. ... It's hard to fight if you're having great sex."

Stress Management

Cut the Stress, Simplify Your Life
Introduction


I went to the woods because I wished to live deliberately, to front only the essential facts of life, and see if I could not learn what it had to teach, and not, when I came to die, discover that I had not lived. I wanted to live deep and suck all the marrow of life. --

OK, it's unlikely you're going to make like Thoreau and move to the woods. Heck, you probably don't even have time for a walk in the woods. If that's the case, though, that may very well mean that it's time to simplify your life. In so doing, you may just save your health -- and your sanity (not to mention actually having time to take that walk).

Erin Bocherer and her husband are doing just that. "Our New Year's resolution was to simplify our life as much as possible to reduce stress," says Bocherer, an advertising account supervisor.

This is what the Bocherers have been doing:

Online banking. "This limits post office drop-offs and reduces the time and money spent on stamps and licking envelopes," says Bocherer. "It also enables me to schedule automatic payments each month, which saves several hours of our time because we no longer need to write out bills and balance the checkbook."

Hiring a cleaning service every three weeks. "We still clean, but they handle the nitty-gritty, time-consuming activities that seemed to fill our weekends," says Bocherer.

Hiring a nanny. Yes, this is expensive, but it saves the Bocherers two hours a day in the car dropping off and picking up their son at daycare. "It enables me to spend more quality time with my son (and with my daughter when she is born in May)," says Bocherer.

Reducing debt. "Debt is one of our biggest stresses that never seems to end," says Bocherer. By creating a strict, yet manageable budget, and focusing on paying off their debt, the Bocherers say they are creating a feeling of accomplishment.

Find a local Psychiatrist in your town

Simplicity Movement Taking Hold

The Bocherers are not alone in their efforts to cut the stress from their life. Browse your favorite newsstand or bookstore and you'll see evidence of an anti-stress movement taking hold in this country. Generally known as "voluntary simplicity," or the "simplicity movement," the need many of us see for a less stressful, more meaningful life is reflected in magazines, books, and web sites devoted to simplifying your life, whether that means "de-cluttering" your home, "downsizing" your career ambitions, or living off the land.

About 5% to 7% of adults in the U.S. are pursuing some form of voluntary simplicity, according to Gerald Celente, director of the Trends Research Institute in New York. The contemporary voluntary simplicity movement began in 1981 with the publication of Duane Elgin's book, Voluntary Simplicity: Toward a Way of Life That is Outwardly Simple, Inwardly Rich. Since then, dozens of books, national magazines, web sites, and grassroots "simplicity circles" have sprung up to offer support and share ideas for those interested in scaling back.

Simplifying your life doesn't necessarily mean doing without. It might, but it doesn't have to. Rather, the prevailing philosophy of today's voluntary simplicity movement is not to live without possessions or to live in frugality, but to slow down and live a more balanced, deliberate, and thoughtful life. And as research increasingly shows, a healthier life as well.

It's no longer news that stress can take its toll on both your physical and mental health. Numerous studies have shown a link between stress and high blood pressure. In one such study, for example, scientists at the University of California at Irvine reported in 1998 in the Journal of Psychosomatic Medicine that men with highly stressful jobs had systolic and diastolic blood pressure readings that were approximately 10 points higher than those with less stressful jobs.

In a study published in 2000 in the journal Social Science & Medicine, researchers from Ohio State University and the University of Alabama found that people with a high ratio of credit card debt to income were in worse physical health than those with less debt.

Too Much 'Stuff' Takes Its Toll

And now, mental health professionals have joined the movement, focusing on how simple living can help alleviate tension-related reactions such as insomnia, nervousness, anxiety, neck and shoulder spasms, chronic fatigue and, says Roderic Gorney, MD, PhD, "our excessive dwelling on 'things.'"

"The message that we get is that without this complexity of 'things' in our life, we are not lovable and not worthy," says Gorney, clinical professor of psychiatry at UCLA and author of The Human Agenda, who also serves on the board of Seeds of Simplicity, an LA-based program of Cornell University's Center for Religion, Ethics & Social Policy. The organization has recently started a campaign called "Unstuffocate," to help people decide for themselves just how much is enough.

The mental health community's awareness of such dependencies as "consumption addictions" led UCLA's Neuropsychiatric Institute to recently sponsor a conference on "Mental Health and Simple Living: Countering the Compulsion to Consume." The purpose of the conference, says Gorney, was to "help the person shake off the addiction to too much, and with it the distress of excess."

Just acknowledging that you need to simplify your life, however, doesn't solve the problem, although it is a beginning. You may be so crunched for time and energy that you can't even stop to think of ways to simplify your life. Let the experts give you a few suggestions.

It's Time to Disconnect

"Many people feel stressed and overwhelmed because they are 'overconnected,'" says Debra A. Dinnoncenzo, president of ALLearnatives, which specializes in alternative work arrangements. "As a result of the ... never-ending ways that people can access us any time of the day or night, we feel perpetually connected to our work," says Dinnoncenzo, also the author of Dot Calm: The Search for Sanity in a Wired World.

Think about all the technology resources that we now use that weren't commonplace even a few years ago, says Dinnoncenzo. Simplifying your life doesn't mean you have to ditch the cell phone, pager, e-mail, instant messaging, voice mail, call forwarding, and on and on. But it does mean establishing clear boundaries:

Turn off your cell phone when you shouldn't be (or don't want to be) interrupted.

Don't take a cell phone to an appointment or when you are focusing on someone else.

Don't give out your cell phone number. Use it only for outgoing calls.

Screen calls by using caller ID.

Use the "delete" option -- early and often.

Arrange for calls from the office only in cases of emergency.

Maintain your commitment to work-free vacations.

Let voice mail or the answering machine take your calls.

On your voice mail greeting, be clear about when you will and will not be available.

Along with all this technology -- which includes the TV too, by the way -- comes information overload, says Daphne Stevens, PhD, a psychotherapist, life coach and author of the forthcoming book, Watercolor Bedroom: Creating a Soulful Midlife. "Limit the amount of information you expose yourself to," she says. "Being flooded with stimuli is a tremendous source of stress."

Debbie Mandel, MA, a stress management expert and author of Turn On Your Inner Light: Fitness for Body, Mind and Soul, says simplifying your life is like "spring cleaning for the soul."

"Stress is omnipresent," says Mandel. "The trick is to learn to decompress." Mandel's suggestions for simplifying your life include:

Make a list of your activities, prioritize your to-do list, and shed those activities that no longer serve a purpose in your life.

Delegate chores at home and at the office. Don't try to do it all. Ask for help.

Let go of the myth of perfection.

Simplifying your life may also mean more than just getting rid of "stuff." It may mean getting rid of people too, says Daphne Stevens. "Avoid overexposure to negative or toxic people," she suggests. Instead, "nurture the relationships that support you. A quick email or card saying 'I'm thinking of you' can work wonders in keeping a friendship alive when we're too busy to do much else."

However you choose to simplify your life, remember that simplicity is not about poverty or deprivation, according to The Simple Living Network. It is about discovering what is "enough in your life -- based upon thoughtful analysis of your lifestyle and values -- and discarding the rest."